52 FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
                    
                    
 1. MAKE RACECAR NOISES WHEN SOMEONE GETS ON OR OFF
 2. BLOW YOUR NOSE AND OFFER TO SHOW THE CONTENTS OF YOUE KLENEX TO 
    OTHER PASSENGERS
 3. GRIMANCE PAINFULLY WHILE SMACKING YOUR FOREHEAD AND MUTTERING: 
    "SHUT UP, DARN IT, ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP" 
 4. WHISTLE THE FIRST 7 NOTES OF "IT'S A SMALL WORLD" INCESSANTLY
 5. SELL GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
 6. ON A LONG RIDE, SWAY SIDE TO SIDE TO THE NATURAL FREQUENCY OF THE 
    ELEVATOR
 7. CRACK OPEN YOUR BRIEF CASE OR PURSE, AND WHILE PEERING INSIDE 
    ASK: "DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH AIR IN THERE?"    
 8. SHAVE
 9. OFFER NAMETAGS TO EVERYONE GETTING ON, WEAR YOURS UPSIDE DOWN
10. STAND SILENT AND MOTIONLESS IN THE CORNER, FACING THE WALL, 
    WITHOUT GETTING OFF
11. WHEN ARRIVING AT YOUR FLOOR, GRUNT AND STRAIN TO YANK OPEN THE 
    DOORS, THEN ACT EMBRASSED WHEN THEY OPEN BY THEMSELVES    
12. LEAN OVER TO ANOTHER PASSENGER AND WISPER "NOOGIE PATROLL COMMING"
13. GREET EVERYONE GETTING ON THE ELEVATOR WITH A WARM HAND SHAKE AND 
    ASK EVERYONE TO CALL YOU ADMIRAL         
14. ONE WORD: FLATULENCE!
15. ON THE HIGHEST FLOOR, HOLD THE DOOR OPEN AND DEMAND THAT IT STAY 
    OPEN UNTILL YOU HEAS THE PENNY YOU DROPED DOWN THE SHAFT GO 
    "PLINK" AT THE BOTTOM.            
16. BRING YOUR GOLF CLUBS AND START PRACTICING. DON'T FORGET TO YELL 
    "FORE!"    
17. DO TAI CHI EXERCISES.
18. STARE, GRINNING, AT ANOTHER PASSENGER FOR A WHILE THEN ANNOUNCE 
    "I'VE GOT NEW SOCKS ON!"
19. WHEN AT LEAST 8 PEOPLE HAVE BOARDED, MOAN FROM THE BACK: "OH, NOT 
    NOW, MOTION SICKNESS"
20. TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF AND ASK OTHERS AROUND YOU IF YOUR FEET SMELL.
21. MEOW OCCASIONALY
22. BET THE OTHER PASSENGERS THAT YOU CAN FIT A QUARTER IN YOUR NOSE
23. FROWN AND MUTTER "GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO" THEN SAY "OOPS"
24. SHOW THE OTHER PASSENGERS A WOUND AND ASK THEM IF IT LOOKS 
    INFECCTED
25. SING MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB WHILE CONTUNILLY PUSHING BUTTONS.      
26. HOLLER "CHUTES AWAY" WHENEVER THE ELEVATOR DECENDS
27. WALK ON WITH A COOLER THAT SAYS "HUMAN HEAD " ON THE SIDE
28. STARE AT ANOTHER PASSENGER FOR A WHILE, THEN ANNOUNCE "YOUR'E ONE 
    OF THEM!!" AND MOVE TO THE FAR CORNER OF THE ELEVATOR
29. BURP THEN SAY "MMMM...TASTY"
30. LEAVE A BOW BETWEEN THE DOORS
31. ASK EACH PASSENGER GETTING ON IF YOU CAN PUSH THE BUTTON FOR THEM.
32. WEAR A PUPPET ON YOUR HAND AND TALK TO OTHER PASSENGERS "THROUGH" 
    IT     
33. START A SING ALONG
34. WHEN THE ELEVATOR IS SLIENT, LOOK ARROUND AND ASK "IS THAT YOUR 
    BEEPER?"
35. PLAY THE HARMONICIA
36. SHADOW BOX
37. SAY "DING" AT EACH FLOOR
38. LEAN AGAINST THE BUTTON PANNEL
39. SAY "I WONDER WHAT ALL THESE DO" AND PUSH ALL THE RED BUTTONS
40. LISTEN TO THE ELEVATOR WALLS THROUGH A STESCOPE.
41. DRAW A LITTLE SQUARE ON THE FLOOR WITH CHALK AND ANNOUNCE TO THE 
    OTHER PASSENGERS THAT THIS IS YOUR "PERSONAL SPACE"
42. BRING A CHAIR ALONG
43. TAKE A BITE OF A SANDWICH AND ASK ANOTHER PASSENGER: 'WANNA SEE 
    WHA IN MUH MOUF?"
44. BLOW SPIT BUBBLES
45. PULL YOUR GUM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IN LONG STRINGS
46. ANNOUNCE IN A DEMINIC VOICE "I MUST FIND A MORE SUTIABLE HOST 
    BODY"
47. CARRY A BLANKET AND CLUTCH IT PROTECTIVELY
48. MAKE EXPLOSION NOISES WHEN ANYONE PUSHES A BUTTON
49. WEAR "X-RAY SPECS" AND LEER SUGGESTIVELY AT OTHER PASSENGERS
50. STARE AT YOUR THUMB AND SAY " I THIMK ITS GETTING LARGER"
51. IF ANYONE BRUSHES AGAINST YOU, RECOIL AND HOLLER "BAD TOUCH!"
52. COMBINE #8 AND #27 (CRACK OPEN THE COOLER AND ASK " ARE YOU 
    GETTING ENOUGH AIR IN THERE?"